As I’m mostly settled into my new apartment in Ann Arbor, and a week fraught with great times comes to a close, I am looking forward to beginning the academic year today. I’m getting used to life in Ann Arbor for another year, and I am nothing short of optimistic, elated, and proud to be here. Yesterday, I attended “Pride Outside”, the University’s LGBTQ+ pride festival. It was a really nice culmination of my first week back—I felt proud to be a part of the University’s community, as well as the LGBTQ+ community.

I was talking to a new friend from one of the organizations I’ve recently become more involved with, and I noticed something as we were talking. He asked me how my summer was, and I replied that it was alright, I got my tonsils out so I guess I’ve had better summers in the past. He then told me his boyfriend got his tonsils out recently, and that his recovery was really long and difficult. Although it was slight, I noticed a change in his demeanor as he spoke the words “my boyfriend”. I had met this guy a couple times before, but I didn’t know him too well and I certainly didn’t expect him to know that I identify as gay.

This got me thinking. I know I’m incredibly straight-passing; it’s nearly impossible to see a person like me for the first time and know that I’m not straight. That’s something that’s always been frustrating to me, and in more ways than one. For the rest of my time at the festival, I was in my head a lot. Making eye contact with individuals who weren’t exactly straight-passing, I felt like they saw me as an ally. Not that being an ally is a bad thing by any means, but it’s hard to feel like you’re so much different within a community that’s already socially showcased as different in its entirety.

It’s important for me to also note that this is a problem of privilege. I’m white and straight-passing, which means that everyday on the street, and while I’m surrounded by any community but the LGBTQ+ one, I am treated as the majority, and haven’t had to face the hardships that may come with it being the other way around. I recognize that events such as these are organized for the people who feel like outcasts in spaces where I am able to feel safe. To complain that I feel like an outsider in a community like this is a problem of privilege. My point is simply that the assumptions need to stop. I’ve experienced it with my religion, I know others who’ve experienced it with their race, and many other identities that one can hold. Assuming someone else’s identity, regardless of the category it falls under, does an unfathomable amount of more harm than good.

I know that my new friend likely didn’t mean to set me off on this train of thought, honestly he may not have even done a thing and it could have been me that wrongfully perceived his change in demeanor. But I’m glad that he did, because now I’m more aware. And I’m looking forward to using my voice and my platform this year at Michigan to spread that awareness.