I am in a class this semester, Wellness in Learning, Coaching, Teaching, and Leadership, which focuses, you guessed it, on wellness. The class focuses on four basic spheres of wellness: mental/psychological wellness, physical wellness, professional/academic wellness, and spiritual wellness. Each sector of wellness focuses on how one can reach their fullest potential in that aspect of life, and that definition of wellness is what builds the content of the course.

This course features a number of guest lecturers, all of whom are experts in their specific field of wellness. Right now, we are in the mental/psychological wellness unit. We had our first guest lecturer last week, Dr. Harry Cohen, a psychologist and author of the book “Be The Sun, Not The Salt”. He gave our instructor enough copies of his book for each student in the class to have one, and read before he came to speak to our class. It was a quick read, only about 70 pages with not a lot of density, but it was absolutely fraught with insight. Dr. Cohen preaches a heliotropic model of living, essentially meaning that positive energy will attract people towards you (like the sun), and negative energy is detrimental, and he likens that to pouring salt on other people’s roots.

I have been primarily interested in this mental/psychological/emotional/social aspect of wellness, and throughout this course, while it’s hardly been a month, I have been doing a lot of thinking about what it means to live heliotropically, and conversely, how to be aware of when I am pouring salt on other people’s roots. Dr. Cohen talked to us about how salt is a hell of a lot stronger than sunlight; plants can never seem to get enough sunlight, but even just a little bit of salt on their roots can be enough to cause the plant to wilt. The same is true of people. Last week could have been going absolutely wonderfully for you, but the news of Kobe Bryant passing away in a helicopter accident could have also been enough to make you forget all of the good that happened before. When something happens on a large scale that we deem as bad or even tragic, everything else in the world can somehow cease to exist. It’s usually impossible to go back to the point in time when that bad thing hadn’t happened yet, and accepting that can be so difficult. But it is at these points when sunlight is the most important. When a plant has had salt poured on its roots, that is the time when it needs sunlight the most in order to come back and survive, and eventually thrive.

Oftentimes we can be blind to the salty things in our lives, and our subconscious can mask them as sunny things instead. I think the most common instance of this mistake comes in the form of our relationships. Yes, I’m talking about romantic relationships, but I’m also talking about friendships, classmate relations, coworker relations, even familial relationships. As hard as it is to break up with a significant other, when you think about it in the grand scheme of things, it isn’t always as hard as it is to break up with a friend, or a family member. But that doesn’t mean that those kinds of break ups are any less important. Relationships are the parts of life that make it worth living, but only if they are enriching relationships. If you have a relationship with someone, and they radiate negativity instead of positively energizing you, it may be time for you two to break up. Life is way too short to waste your precious time on relationships that are salt on your roots.

I ordered carry out from Domino’s on Super Bowl Sunday. I had enough points to redeem them for a free pizza, so I figured that would be a perfect Super Bowl meal, and I ordered one pineapple pizza for pick up. The tracking app told me my pizza would be ready at 6:00, so I left my apartment at around 5:50, and arrived at Domino’s at 5:56, knowing I would probably have to wait a few minutes because I was early. They were extremely backed up, and I ended up having to wait until 6:20. There was a decent crowd waiting, and I could tell that the employees were moving as fast as they could. There was a group of boys who had been waiting a little longer than I had, and they continued to pester the employees, each time getting more and more irritable. I don’t blame them, I wasn’t too happy having to wait either. But when I went up to the counter after having waited 10, 15, 20 minutes, I decided to be polite, and thank them multiple times. As it got later, I started to get nervous that I was going to miss kick off, and I, too grew irritable, and I couldn’t even rationalize the wait by saying it wasn’t their fault, because it was! But I thought to myself, what good would it do me or them to complain, be nasty, point out their shitty service, etc.? When my pizza was ready, I took it with a smile, thanked the woman who handed it to me, and told her to have a good night. I could tell that those simple acts made a difference.

Obviously I don’t have any sort of relationship with the workers at my local Domino’s, but that’s besides the point. If you have the ability to radiate even the slightest bit of sunlight, choose to do that over dumping a single grain of salt. The people around you will be much better for it, and you will be MUCH better for it.

Photo: Dr. Harry Cohen's "Be the Sun, Not the Salt"